chinese new year

1. I spent $3 on tissues along the same stretch of Orchard Road about a few days ago. I gave $2 to an old lady, and then came across a man in a wheelchair. He looked like he'd suffered a pretty severe stroke in the past. I gave him a dollar for a packet of tissue, and then felt like the worst person in the world. I should have given him everything in my wallet. I should have given him all the cash I had. I was en-route to meet Victor for dinner and a movie, and I didn't need the money. I didn't need the money, but I walked away anyway.

I am so lucky. I am so lucky to be so comfortably middle-class, to be, as they say, "marrying up", to be able to afford nice things. I want to be able to do more for other people than just spend the occasional dollar on a packet of tissues. I don't know what that might entail yet, but I hope I figure it out soon.

2. Last weekend we spent four and a half hours (starting from 9 am in the morning) queuing up at the Lim Chee Guan's at Chinatown just to get some bak kwa, and while it does taste pretty good I don't think we'll ever be doing something like that again. We'd wanted to get something special for V's grandparents (he'll be telling them about the wedding when he gets back to KL this Chinese New Year) buuuuuuuut I think once is quite enough, thank you very much. We'd actually been once already on a weekday afternoon, only to be informed that the signature roast pork usually sells out before lunch, which gives people, what, a three, four hour window? We alternated between remaining in the queue and heading off for toilet/drink/sliced mango breaks. There was a purchase limit of 15kg per person, but it didn't seem to deter most of the people in front of us, whom we saw staggering away with bags upon bags of the stuff.

Bak kwa is serious business, you guys. Especially around Chinese New Year. Never get between a Singaporean and his/her bak kwa, y'all.

3. Last year I spent Chinese New Year in KL with V and his relatives, and while some of them are perfectly lovely, especially his paternal grandmother (who seems to have taken a shine to me because I speak passable Hokkien, lol), it's just not the same as being at home. This year I've elected to remain here (!!!). It's also my last year officially being able to receive ang pows, and I'm really feeling quite bummed about it. The yearly cash infusion from collected ang pows might be small but it is very welcome.

And next year I'll have to give out cash? To snot-nosed brats? WHY =(

4. This year I am grateful for many, many things. I'm grateful for having finally made it out of university. For the job offer, even if it isn't exactly glamourous/not my first choice. It pays well, which is a big consideration for me, and it actually sounds like something I can do, which is a huge relief, to be honest. For things slowly, but surely, starting to fall into place. It's a relief to have (somewhat) sorted out my own thoughts, and I feel much better now that I've managed to be less hard on myself. I've tried, and I've come this far, and I've decided that I will never be happy as long as I keep wanting to be somewhere/someone else. Things are good now. I've done everything that's been expected of me - and oddly enough, not because people have told me to, but because I actually wanted to.

A lot of this is only possible because of V. I hate being a sap, but he is so good to me. He has made my life so much easier ever since he came into it, and every year he just makes things even easier. He cares about things I couldn't be less concerned about - insurance, interest rates, investing and all that jazz - and he just. He takes such good care of me. A while ago I would have bristled at the thought that I would need anyone - much less a man, pfft -  to even bother to look out for me, but. It's a privilege, isn't it? To have someone care about you this deeply. To have someone who wants to have the next twenty, thirty, forty years with you, who's careful to ensure that your life will be disrupted as little as possible, should anything happen to him.

I may never really understand how he puts up with me. I am such a hard person to like, much less love. He, on the other hand, is so easy to love. Like a baby bunny. Or the cutest Corgi in the world.


Everyone should play Pokemon X/Y. NOW.

Also: 恭喜發財, everybody! May the odds of getting a good haul of ang pow money be ever in your favour.


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